There is this show in Discovery channel that goes by the name Faking It. What the show does is that they choose one person, then gives him three weeks to prepare.
.
To prepare what?
.
Prepare to fake it as another person. Example: pretending to be a wine connoisseur, a salsa dancer, a drag queen, a pro wrestler as in SmackDown…
_______________
.
Last week (16 Dec), I attended a camp for young people, organised by Young Malaysian Movement (YMM). It was in Ulu Yam. The age ranged from 14 to 29. The youngest girl was 20. The eldest was 29 (I would’ve called them ‘aunty’ if i knew that).
.
The camp was just average at best. The activities were fun, IF you have people who knew how to have fun, shouting and laughing and cheering. The problem is, some ‘old aunties’ just didn’t feel like shouting and cheering while staring at me as i started shouting like a histeric idiot high on alcohol or drugs. What is worse is the lack of girls. I meant pretty ones. (There IS a pretty one. Too bad my best mate liked her and i have to help him device strategies to tackle her.)
.
Back to the topic (Faking It). This kind of camp are full of hypocrites. People who put pretend to be who they are not. People who are not real. People who put on masks.
I don’t know why. But for this camp, i think they are trying to recapture their lost youth.
.
I particularly hate fake people/hypocrites.
Lets put it this way, I fucking-god-damn-bloody-hell-mahcheebai-kahneenah-chowhai hate/loathe/despise/abhor/repulse/be sicken by fake people [insert song: The Great Pretender by Queen (Oh yes... i'm the great pretender. Ooh... ooh...)].
.
I can smell a ‘faker’ a mile a away. Just like how a shark can smell a drop of blood a few miles away. If you can’t fake it, don’t fake it and make my hate you. If you want to fake it, be a pro at it. Be so good that no one, not even me, knows you’re a faker.
.
There is this lady (i shall not refer to as a girl out of cruel honesty) that was in my group. We gave a nick name — lady boss, fakest of them all. Have you seen a 29-year old behaving like a 16-year old girl before? My goodness.
.
And this kind of camp can never run away with the sharing/appreciation session at the end of the thing. Since this session is to be run by the participants(we) instead of the organisers, we have to make use of dinner and sleep time to prepare. At that time, i was chatting with my best mate. Then she appeared next to us and bloody pretended to plan and prepare for the sharing session. I’m not really sure of her motives, but to me, she seems like spying on our conversation as she was ‘planning’.
.
Then, she called both of us over and asked for our advice on this-and-that. As if making sure that we knew she was working hard. For goodness sake, could she stop torturing me with this kind of hypocrisy. After an hour or so of pretending, she got tired and fell asleep on the table. That’s why lah! Act lah some more!
.
The next day, the inevitable happened — sharing session. First, put on a lagu jiwang (emo song). Then say something ‘touching’, e.g. before this camp i was like this, now after this camp i am like that; or before this camp i don’t know you all, now i’m gonna miss all of you; blah…blah…blah…
After that, you get teary eyed and start crying and sobbing. Then you pass the mic around for others to repeat this vicious cycle.
.
If Monster, Inc(Disney) were to feed on the power of hypocrisy instead of power of screams/laughters, these kind of camp would be a nuclear power plant, generating mega-gazillion watts of power.
.
What is there for you to cry about?
First, you barely know each other. It’s only three days, you can’t possibly claim to be the best of friends in just three days?!
Secondly, no one is dying. And we are can meet up again if we want to.
Thirdly, you’re not the organiser of the camp. If you did not not contribute(fu4 chu4) to make the camp a success, you won’t feel for it and thus have no ‘right’ to cry because you feel terharu.
.
I’ve been to too many this kind of camp with this sharing-then-crying session. I’m almost immune to it except that i can’t tahan the fakers.
.
So, fakers out there. You can pretend all you want, but I’ll spot you the moment you open your mouth, you blink your eyes, you take a breath.
Yours Sincerely,
the HYpocrite.
